Fear of judgement can hold us back in so many ways within our careers and our lives. I want to share with you my personal experience of this with regards to sharing online content. And to offer some reassurance and a few words of encouragement so that you can overcome your fear of judgement and share what your heart is yearning for you to share.
I have a confession to make...
I have been feeling anxious about sharing content lately. I have been fearing the judgement of others. I know, you’d think I’d have it all sussed by now, doing my job. Well, I don’t. But I do know that when we get triggered by something we have two choices. We can sweep it under the carpet hoping it will go away or we can be conscious about it and look at it with curiosity for what we might be learning and what we might be able to do differently. I’m choosing the latter.
When we share anything online, we open ourselves up to other people’s reactions. It can make us feel vulnerable. It can make us question the strength of our conviction. In my case, I have been particularly triggered by sending my new monthly newsletter out. And in having had a handful of people unsubscribe (even though I asked people to do so if the content wasn’t right for them!) I realise that these are just growing pains from moving my business forward.
As a business owner, when you narrow down your niche (as I recently have), you are inevitably going to lose some people along the way. I know that not everyone on my mailing list will be on a spiritual path (or even curious). And that a lot of my content will not resonate with them. I am learning to be ok with that. And I am learning that that doesn’t happen overnight. In business (as in life), we are not going to be liked by everyone. Which brings me on to an interesting topic…
Our Ego can be so sensitive. What if they don’t like what I’ve got to say? What if they unsubscribe? What if people think I’m being ridiculous? What if, what if what if…
Our Ego acts out of fear. It can make us feel small, insignificant, unsafe even. It can be massively debilitating, both within our career and our life. But we have a choice. We have a Higher Self which can be accessed at any time. Our Higher Self acts out of love, not fear. It shows us self-compassion. It allows us to shine, to give things a go, to write content from our hearts not through the filter of our minds. This is what the world needs.
When we recognise our Ego for what it is (a false identity we have created), we can than transcend it. Next month I will be talking more about Ego when I look at Identity (the fourth Spiritual Coaching Foundation) in my blog and my monthly newsletter. (If you’re not already signed up for my newsletter – you can join over on the right of this article).
Fear of judgement: How to overcome it
There is only one thing worse than experiencing the discomfort which comes from fear of judgment and putting yourself out there. And that’s hiding your light under a bushel. More than ever, the world needs people who are ready and willing to lead others into greater consciousness, to promote wellbeing, kindness and compassion. To share what they have learnt so that someone else might benefit from our their experience, knowledge or understanding (even if that’s just one person from a mailing list of hundreds). The positive energy which you are sharing – especially in the online space where there is so much negative energy – will have a ripple effect which extends far beyond what the eye can see.
So if you’re new to the world of self-employment or you have a cause you want to champion and you really want to get your message out online but feel paralysed, here are my words of encouragement for you (which I am also now reminding myself of):
Accept that not everyone will like what you do. It’s the same for everyone.
Accept that you might feel uncomfortable when you share content. This is how we grow.
Accept that you have just as much right to share your message as the next person.
Accept your own brilliance and the power you have through sharing your light
Accept that other people have their own opinions. Let them own theirs and you own yours.
Trust that the right people will get your message. And that it’s OK to put off the rest.
Trust in the urge to share something helpful. This is your intuition guiding you.
Trust that you can handle whatever comes your way once you’ve put it out there.
Trust that when you write from the heart, there is no right or wrong.
Trust in the positive intention behind your message.
Choose to call in your Higher Self when you feel your Ego Self has been triggered.
Choose to focus your energy positively instead of wasting it worrying about reactions.
Choose to visualise the reaction you actually want from the people you are writing it for.
Choose to learn from your reaction instead of running away from it and hiding your light.
Choose love instead of fear.
We all have a light to share...
I believe that we all have a special place in the world and that we all do important work (whether we are at at home looking after children or working for a charity). I believe we all have it in us to share our light with the world and to make a difference in a myriad of different ways (not just sharing content online). And I also believe that the messages I have to share (learnt from so many wonderful teachers, plus life itself) are special. And I will keep sharing them (providing I don’t let that pesky Ego keep getting in the way).
I would like to leave you with a beautiful poem by an American author called Marianne Williamson taken from her book A Return To Love (Harper Collins, 1996). This sums everything up perfectly and has provided much inspiration and reassurance to me and countless others over the years.
Our Deepest Fear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
By Marianne Williamson