Milestone Birthday Ritual: 5 steps to a hopeful new decade

Milestone Birthday Ritual

Entering a new decade can be cause for both celebration and mild panic. For me, a milestone birthday offers a symbolic moment in our lives to step back, reflect and set our intention for the coming decade. As today is a milestone birthday for me, I want to celebrate by sharing a ritual which has helped me prepare mentally and spiritually for my transition out of my forties and into my fifties. It is a ritual which has enabled me to experience greater gratitude, strength, peace and hope. If you are about to reach a milestone birthday, then I wish for it to bring you the same.

Milestone Birthday Ritual: Step 1 - Create a timeline of events

It’s amazing how easy it is to overlook the significant happenings of our lives – our achievements, what we’ve been through and the challenges we’ve overcome. I think the human brain is hard-wired to move straight on and focus on the next thing to achieve or on the things which our life seems to be lacking. 

The first step in this ritual is to list out all of the significant things which have happened over the past ten years. These could include outer things such as moving house, changing jobs, having a child, traveling to a new place. Or they could be inner things such as overcoming a health challenge or extricating yourself from a relationship which wasn’t right for you. Just let whatever needs to be acknowledged to have the space to be voiced or written down. Or, alternatively, you might find it helpful to go back to the start of the decade and consider the events in chronological order. 

Once you have listed them out, then draw a horizontal line with your age at the start of the decade (e.g. 40) on the left side and your age at the end of the decade (e.g. 50) on the right side. Highlight your happenings along the timeline.  Here is an example of what my timeline looks like:

Milestone Birthday Timeline (Rebecca Kirk)

When I listed out all that has happened in my forties, I was truly taken aback. It instantly gave me access to a deep source of strength and courage to draw from. I gave myself a hug in recognition of everything which I had come through. I realised that this has been the most transformative decade of my life so far. 

I also realised that my biggest challenges such as losing my Mum and going through a health scare, are actually the things I am most grateful for. These are the things which have deepened my experience of life and have led to a further spiritual awakening. 

Consider which events on your timeline are you truly grateful for?

Milestone Birthday Ritual: Step 2 - List your biggest learnings

When you reflect on the your timeline, what do you consider to be some of your biggest learnings? What are the lessons you can take from your life’s happenings?  

Here are some of the lessons I will take with me from my forties:

  • I am stronger than I think I am – Coming through my worst case scenario of my Mum passing taught me to trust in the inner strength I have to navigate life’s most difficult moments. And also being able to make tough decisions such as leaving the art business behind to pursue my dream of becoming a coach.
  • The importance of looking after my physical body – I have always invested more in my mental and spiritual wellbeing than my physical. The health scare and the experience of perimenopause in my forties has taught me how important it is to have a physical body which is well supported, nourished and cared for. Without that, I cannot do my work or experience life to its fullest.
  • The power of trusting in my path – I had no idea as I entered my forties that I would find such fulfilment and joy through my work. I have listened to my heart and to my intuition like never before and followed them fervently throughout this past ten years. And now I am living in full alignment with who I truly am. I have taken several leaps of faith and trusted that, whatever the outcome, I was right where I needed to be. I vow to continue to trust in my path.
  • Striving for outer success does not make you happy – One of the biggest lessons for me as I look back on my forties is to realise that the outer things which we are taught to strive for (be that a house, a job, a relationship, publishing a book) cannot ultimately make us happy. It is an inside job. But perhaps I needed to strive for these outer things first in order to get that lesson? 
What lessons or messages has the Universe passed on to you which you will take with you into your new decade? 

Milestone Birthday Ritual: Step 3 - Declare what you choose to release

When you think of moving into your new decade, what are some of the things which you would prefer to leave behind? What things would you like to release yourself from so that you can transition with greater freedom, lightness, joy or peace?  These may include:

  • mind patterns which are no longer serving you 
  • fears which have been holding you back from living your best life
  • a job which is no longer in alignment with who you truly are
  • attachments to people, objects, mental positions 
  • your Ego Self – the need to control, the need for perfection, the need to judge
  • an old identity which no longer represents who you are at your essence
  • the need to always be in doing mode
 
For me, this is very much about releasing the need to be doing all the time. And the need to take on more responsibilities than I need to. In consciously considering what I want to release, I already feel a sense of emerging lightness in my being and space for the new to enter. It feels like the time is right to drop off any old baggage I have accumulated and so I am going to be working with a breathworker to support me on this phase of my journey. 
Imagine now that you are wiping the slate clean from the past ten years. How does this feel? And who or what do you need to support you in releasing what no longer serves you?

Milestone Birthday Ritual: Step 4 - Declare what you choose to call in

Being intentional about what you want holds great power to transform your situation. Your milestone birthday offers you an opportunity to harness your powers of manifestation and bring fresh clarity to the direction of your life.

What would you love to be saying about this new decade at the end of it?  What are those things which you would love to experience more of over the next ten years? Be sure to use only positive language referencing what you do want as opposed to stating that you want to experience less of something.

For me, there are three things which have emerged which I am choosing to call in in my fifties:

Peace – I call in peace – both within my mind and my heart. And, connected with this, I also call in equanimity – that is, the ability to maintain a sense of calm whatever is happening in the outside world. I know that peace is not about the outside world being perfectly balanced and in harmony. It is how I choose to react and respond which is the trigger for peace.

Wellbeing – I choose to focus more time and energy on my mental and physical wellbeing. To make choices which support my health and to drop the habits which leave me feeling depleted. I will make meditation an even more consistent practice and continue my commitment to Kundalini Yoga. I will make movement an essential part of every day. And build a support team around me (starting with an acupuncturist and breath worker, alongside my ever-supportive partner). 

Fun – I want to experience more fun – to do things for the sake of doing them, without them needing to have a deeper purpose or end goal. Simple things such as dancing in the kitchen, having dinner with friends, reading a book or an article about something which helps me escape, going wild swimming. 

What three things do you choose to call in? 
What do you need to make these a reality (e.g. people, space, support)?

 

Spiritual Coach Rebecca Kirk

Milestone Birthday Ritual: Step 5 - Communicate in nature

The final step in this ritual is to get out into nature – this could be a wood, the beach or even just in your garden. Find somewhere you can sense the connection with the Universe and feel able to communicate with it. 

  • Find a comfortable place to sit (or stand) and take some deep, grounding breaths 
  • Tune in to the energy of your surroundings and feel the connection with the Universe 
  • With your hands on your heart, give thanks for this past decade and all that it has brought you, all that it has taught you, all the challenges you have overcome and the joy you may have experienced
  • Imagine packing all that you have chosen to release and let go of from this past decade into a balloon. Tie that balloon up with a coloured piece of string. Watch the string being released from your hand and take flight off into the sky for the Universe to transmute.
  • Now recall the three words of what you want to experience in this new decade. If you are at the beach you might choose to write them out in the sand. Tune into the energy behind those three words. And imagine that your vibration is rising to meet their vibration.
  • Open your arms and welcome in these three words and repeat this mantra (or something of your own if you feel more drawn):

Whenever your next milestone birthday is, I hope that you find some inspiration in this milestone birthday ritual. and that you transition into your next new decade with a heart filled with hope.

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Spiritual Career Coaching

Hello, I'm Rebecca

Career Coach for people on a spiritual path

I support mid-career professionals who are  ready to make a career change, launch into a more purpose-led career or business or simply enjoy a more fulfilling or balanced working life.  

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