The pain of rebirth (and how to deal with it)


Nature provides us with so many powerful symbols and none more so than the butterfly. Here I share with you the parallel of my own journey of rebirth and how this beautiful little creature came to inspire me to keep going through the pain. Plus a few ideas on how this too might support you through a transformation in your career or life.

A rebirth begins...

I am just about to embark on what I sense might be one of the most significant re-births of my life.  I am moving house.  I am moving out of a place of great sanctuary.  A place which holds so many joyful memories for me.  A place which I have felt so blessed to call home for the past 10 years.  And a location which has brought me great comfort and connection to many of the people I love.

But in many ways, my house has also symbolised my stuckness.  It has tethered me to the past.  I have been attached to it.  And this attachment has been holding me back from making a leap forward into a place of further growth and expansion.  From changing a part of my outer identity and playing a bigger game.  A leap which I am now readying myself to make.  

Enter my Ego Self and the 'pain body'

At the beginning of the house moving process, I could truly sense what lied beyond the move.  I felt a wave of expansive energy washing through me on a daily basis.  So much so that I couldn’t sleep.  I felt a clear connection to my Higher Self and a sense of stepping even more fully into my true power.  

And then, almost overnight, an intense fear started to take over.  I started questioning my decision to move.  I started hypothesising about what might happen on the other side.  I started feeling the discomfort of disconnecting from my place of sanctuary; of moving outside of my very literal comfort zone.  I have been in the grip of my Ego Self.  I have been experiencing what Eckhart Tolle describes as the ‘pain body’.  

Nature's greatest symbol of transformation

I love a good nature analogy and I felt this one deserved a very special mention, as cliche as it might be. Recently, on a walk in the woods with Madge, a white butterfly fluttered past me and stopped me in my tracks.  It was so beautiful to see this delicate little insect so free, so light, so in its element.  But then I contemplated how this has not always been the case.  Before it metamorphosised, it lived life under a very different identity – on the ground as a caterpillar.  And in order to change that identity, it had to break through its chrysalis.  Something which I imagine involved a fair amount of pain and discomfort.

What a great parallel the butterfly offers us for when we go through our own transformations – whether that is moving house, ending or entering into new relationships or changing our careers.  In order to rebirth, we too must go through the discomfort of leaving our old outer identity behind and break through our own metaphorical chrysalis.  That discomfort might come in the form of fears, limiting beliefs or perhaps sadness or loneliness.  

Rebirthing through a career change

When you’re considering a change in your career, in many ways it involves a change in your outer identity (which in my view is not so much about finding a new identity as it is connecting to your true identity).  It requires breaking through the resistance of your beliefs and fears around what is possible, what other people will think, whether you will be a ‘failure’, leaving behind what is known and perhaps comfortable. 

And it also involves deeply connecting with what lies on the other side of your rebirth – such as freedom and expansion.  Or discovering your wings so that you can take flight and fulfilling the potential and the purpose you are here on this earth for. 

And maybe, just maybe, that is worth breaking out of your comfort zone for.

Some ways to deal with the pain of rebirth

If you are currently experiencing the pain of a rebirth (or about to enter a transformative phase), I want to offer you some ideas and encouragement to get you through it:

1. Acknowledge the discomfort – try not to deny your uncomfortable feelings,  journal about them, let them out and see them as part of your transformation journey and a sign that you are growing and evolving as opposed to doing something wrong or getting annoyed with yourself.   

2. Call on your faith – trust in yourself to get through this time.  Trust in your own unique path and in the Universe to guide you and support you towards that which you cannot yet see.  That is the essence of faith.

3. Keep your practices going – whatever enables you to stay grounded and connected, be that meditation, prayer or just placing your bare feet on the earth. Now is the time you need these things more than ever!

4. Draw strength – whether that’s from nature (such as the butterfly) or from a past rebirth which you have been through and come out of the other side of.  Or you might know of someone who has been through a transformation whose journey you can take inspiration from.

Closing thoughts

Instead of squashing this discomfort down (as I have in the past), I am now choosing to embrace it and to see it as a necessary part of my transformation journey.  And perhaps a sign that I am changing and evolving (one of my values).  I am so grateful that I have my Daily Spiritual Practice to keep me grounded and connected to my higher wisdom.  To access that part of me which knows that this is just temporary; that part of me which is mindful of the bigger picture and that part of me which trusts in what I cannot yet see or touch. 

And so to the little butterfly which has helped me make sense of everything…may you now enjoy every moment of your rebirth.     

Spiritual Career Coaching

Hello, I'm Rebecca

Career Coach for people on a spiritual path

I support mid-career professionals who are  ready to make a career change, launch into a more purpose-led career or business or simply enjoy a more fulfilling or balanced working life.  

believe that we all have a purpose here on earth and that life is too short to be stressed, unfulfilled and playing small. 


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